Day 6: Books
After my miscarriage, I had several sleepless nights and I just wanted to connect with other women and families who had been there. I spent lots of time on the computer googling and on pinterest trying to find something that would bring me comfort. I want to share some of the links that I found helpful.
I also have a list of books from my doula studies that I want to share. I did not read these personally but they were recommended in my resource list. So I will put there here.
Empty Arms: Coping with Miscarriage, Stillbirth, and Infant Death by Sherokee Ilse
Amazon Description: Revised and updated! This classic book is one of the first given to newly bereaved parents to offer guidance in decision-making after their baby’s death and to assist caregivers as they support families. Empty Arms encourages families to meet their babies and say hello before rushing to say goodbye. With compassion that comes from Sherokee and David’s experience of having lived through the death of their son Brennan, the book offers guidance and practical suggestions for the decision-making at the time (including why and how one might see, hold, and memorialize one’s baby) and over time (such as how to handle such times as anniversaries, holidays and the birth of other babies in the parents’ close circle.)
Family and friends can learn how to understand the loss and be supportive of the bereaved families.
It offers ongoing support about subjects such as returning to work or to life, couple grieving, surviving children, feeling guilty, having another child or not, and feeling lonely.
With over 300,000 in print, this book touches the hearts of families at the time of their loss and over time as they heal.
Three Minus One: Stories of Parents’ Love and Loss
Amazon Description: Three Minus One: Parents’ Stories of Love and Loss is a collection of intimate, soul-baring stories and artwork by parents who have lost a child to stillbirth, miscarriage, or neonatal death, inspired by the film Return to Zero.
The loss of a child is unlike any other, and the impact that it has on the mother, the father, their family, and their friends is devastating – a shockwave of pain and guilt that spreads through their entire community. But the majority of those affected, especially mothers, often suffer their pain in silence, convinced that their grief and trauma is theirs to bear alone. This anthology of raw memoirs, heartbreaking stories, truthful poems, beautiful painting, and stunning photography from the parents who have suffered child loss offers insight into this unique, devastating and life-changing experience – breaking the silence and offering a ray of hope to the many parents out there in search of answers, understanding, and healing.
Grieving Parents: Surviving Loss as a Couple by Nathalie Himmerlrich
Amazon Description: “Losing the younger of our identical twin girls on the third day of her life totally shocked us. We had barely grown used to the identity of being ‘first time parents’ before we also donned the title of ‘bereaved parents.’ But there was more to come…”
The loss of a child affects the whole family, especially the parents and their relationship. The journey of grief has no set timeline or steps, but unfolds as each person travels in their very own way.
Baby Dust by Janet Jaffe, David Diamond, and Martha Diamond (Fiction)
Amazon Description: The five women sitting in the circle of chairs all had great dreams of motherhood. Then their babies died.
Melinda sees blood on the floor every day after her loss. Dot believes the wrath of God caused her baby to die. Teenage Tina is trolling internet dating sites for a father for another baby, and Janet’s failure to cry means her wedding is off. Stella, the support group leader, must help them while facing the old choices that cost her ever having a family of her own.
Based on the stories of dozens of real survivors, Baby Dust is a moving tribute to the strength of mothers who must endure this impossible loss.